Research shows a surprising truth about love: almost one-third of women and nearly a quarter of men admit they “settled” instead of ending up with their true love. Relationship expert Tracey Cox says this isn’t shocking. What we want when we’re young is often very different from what we need as adults.

Early love is intense. It feels exciting, passionate, and overwhelming. The highs are incredible, but the lows can be painful. Many young couples struggle with jealousy, insecurity, and emotional ups and downs. Over time, that kind of love becomes harder to live with.

As people grow older, stability becomes more important. Qualities like reliability, kindness, and financial security suddenly matter more than wild passion. Some people are lucky and find both. Others choose the partner who will give them a steady, safe life — even if that deep, dramatic spark isn’t there.

Tracey spoke to people who made those choices. One man has spent 24 years in a marriage without love because he never got over his first girlfriend. He says he has lived his whole adult life longing for someone he can’t have. But another woman says choosing the steady partner was the best decision she ever made. Her marriage is calm, supportive, and full of respect — something her passionate first love never offered.

There are also people stuck in between. One woman has secretly been seeing her first love for 15 years because neither she nor he is willing to break up their families. She says it’s the only way she can live with both her heart and her responsibilities.

In the end, love is complicated. What feels right when we’re young may not be what we need later. And the choices we make — whether for passion or stability — shape the rest of our lives.