Sometimes we don’t notice how much our phones pull us away from the people we love. It starts with a quick check of the screen, and suddenly a warm moment feels a little colder. Many couples today feel this shift, even when no one means to cause it.

This quiet habit has a name: phubbing. It happens when someone slips into their phone and unintentionally tunes out their partner. A simple dinner or a shared joke can lose its spark when a glowing screen steals the attention meant for each other.

The turning point comes when one person starts to feel invisible. A partner may wonder, “Why is the phone winning over me?” These small moments build up, and over time they can create distance in even the closest relationships.

Experts say the fix begins with small, thoughtful steps. Try setting phone-free zones during meals or bedtime, when connection matters most. If you must check your phone, say what you’re doing—like checking a message or confirming a train time—then return your focus to the person in front of you.

This simple honesty breaks the automatic habit and reassures your partner that they still come first. It turns a distraction into a moment of care, which can soften the tension that phubbing creates.

In the end, choosing to look up from the screen is a quiet way to say, “You matter to me.” And sometimes, that gentle choice is all a relationship needs to grow stronger again.