Open Netflix on a quiet evening and you can fall into a familiar spiral. One episode turns into three. The subject turns darker. Yet many people still call it “relaxing.”
Psychologist Dr. Thema Bryant wants you to pause right there.
On The Mel Robbins Podcast, she explained that comfort does not always mean healthy comfort. Sometimes it simply means familiarity. If you grew up around stress, your body may learn to treat tension as normal. Then calm can feel strange. It can even feel boring.

So when someone unwinds with hours of violent crime stories, Bryant suggests asking a gentler question. Why does trauma feel soothing? What does your nervous system expect at the end of the day?
Of course, not everyone watches for the violence. Many viewers say they stay for the puzzle. Others want to see justice. Some feel safer when they understand warning signs. Those reasons make sense.
Still, the “relaxation” piece matters. If you use true crime to settle your mind before sleep, you may train your body to chase intensity instead of rest.
Bryant offers a different path. Start small. Choose quieter shows. Try music, reading, or a short walk. Expect discomfort at first. Then stick with it. Over time, peace can feel normal again—and you deserve that.