Former Secret Service agent Evy Poumpouras suggests that reading people is simpler than analyzing complex body language. To understand others, you should focus on their “headspace.” She divides people into two main categories: Identity and Instrumental.
People in the Identity category are often driven by emotion and personal perspective. They focus on how they feel about a situation. When they speak, they frequently use phrases like “I think” or “I believe.” For them, communication is mainly about personal connection and self-expression.
In contrast, those with an Instrumental headspace are task-oriented and direct. They care more about getting things done than how they feel. This mindset is common in high-pressure jobs. These individuals can seem blunt or cold because they prioritize results over emotions.
Conflicts often happen when these two styles clash. An instrumental person might seem rude to an identity-focused person. Meanwhile, an identity-focused person may seem unproductive to someone who is task-oriented. Recognizing which “space” someone is in allows you to adjust your approach.
Awareness is the key to better conversations. Once you identify someone’s motivation, you can speak their language. This skill helps you avoid misunderstandings and build stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.