Last Friday, after a demanding week at work, I pulled into my driveway hoping for peace and quiet. Instead, I saw my daughter’s car. She often drops by with my two-year-old granddaughter. I love them both, but that evening I was exhausted. So I kept driving and went to the pub for a quiet drink instead.
Some may see that as shocking. Aren’t grandparents meant to step in whenever needed? Many people believe it’s our duty to provide regular childcare so our adult children can cope. But life is not always that simple.
I’m 54, still working full time, with a teenager at home and a husband who lives abroad for work. After raising four children over nearly three decades, I am only just beginning to glimpse a more independent phase of life. The idea of starting over with daily toddler duties feels overwhelming.
That doesn’t mean I don’t help. I have cared for my granddaughter for extended periods, taken her on holidays, and hosted overnight stays. I cherish those moments. But I also value my time and energy.
Being a grandmother is a joy, yet it is different from being a parent. I believe support should come from love, not obligation. My daughter chose motherhood. I will stand beside her, but I also need space to live my own life.