It’s a word we toss around too easily — narcissist. Maybe you’ve used it about an ex, a boss, or even a friend. But Dr. Julia Shaw, a criminal psychologist who has spent her career studying murderers and psychopaths, says there’s actually a simple way to tell if someone truly fits the label.
Working with the darkest corners of the human mind, Dr. Shaw has learned how to spot patterns of ego and manipulation. On her BBC podcast “Bad People,” she explores how even small clues can reveal deep truths. And when it comes to narcissism, she says science has boiled it down to one single question.
“How do you spot a narcissist? Ask them.”
That’s right. According to Dr. Shaw, research shows that asking, “Are you a narcissist?” can be surprisingly effective. Most genuine narcissists won’t hesitate to admit it. They’ll shrug and say something like, “Yeah, but I’m just better than most people.” It’s that overconfidence — the unshakable belief they’re special — that gives them away.
But Dr. Shaw also warns us to be careful. In her words, “The term ‘narcissist’ has become so casual, it’s losing its real meaning.” Not every selfish or arrogant person is suffering from a disorder. And using the label too lightly can diminish real psychological struggles.
Her advice is a gentle reminder: before we diagnose others, maybe we should look closer — not just at them, but at ourselves.
