A British parenting coach says compulsory school attendance can harm some children’s mental health.
Abi Clarke, a mother of two, argues that even five-year-olds may sometimes need a “mental health day.” Forcing a distressed child into class, she warns, risks “severe burnout.”

Children show strain in subtle ways. They may become overly compliant, lose interest in favourite hobbies, delay bedtime, skip breakfast, or erupt in tantrums. Moreover, a child who dreads school is often labelled “difficult,” even though we would treat a similarly upset adult with far more care.

Clarke urges parents to trust genuine signals. If a child is clearly overwhelmed, she says, allow a day at home without punishment. As a practical step, she suggests one authorised mental-health absence per term, recorded like any other legitimate reason.

She also questions “perfect attendance” awards. In her view, they encourage pupils to ignore illness or anxiety and can penalise those with medical appointments or fatigue.

Not every child thrives under a one-size-fits-all model. Clarke notes that neurodivergent pupils—such as her eight-year-old, who has suspected dyslexia and ADHD—may spend the day “masking,” then come home exhausted. For these children, a low-pressure, flexible approach can build resilience more gently.

Related debates highlight “pathological demand avoidance,” a pattern of extreme resistance to everyday demands often linked to anxiety. Although not a formal diagnosis, autism advocates stress that understanding and personalised support matter more than labels.

Clarke’s bottom line is simple: protect wellbeing first. When brains are calmer, learning follows.