A childhood educator has ignited a nationwide debate after suggesting that parents should ask their babies for permission before changing their diapers. The comment, made during an ABC News discussion on consent, quickly spread across social media and divided public opinion.
S*xuality educator Deanne Carson explained that her goal is to help families build a “culture of consent” from the earliest stages of life. She suggested simple phrasing such as, “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that OK?”
Carson acknowledged that infants cannot verbally respond. However, she believes that pausing and watching for eye contact or relaxed body language teaches children that their reactions matter.
Her remarks drew strong criticism online. Many argued that asking a baby for permission is unnecessary and unrealistic. Some pointed out that crying is often the child’s only way of signaling discomfort or the need for a diaper change.
Others questioned how a parent should respond if a baby appeared to “say no,” noting that leaving a child in a soiled diaper would be neglectful.
Despite the backlash, several experts defended Carson’s overall message. Advocates say that explaining actions—especially during intimate care—helps children learn body awareness, boundaries, and respectful communication.
A spokesperson for a major s*xual violence support organization stated that the idea is not about obtaining literal consent, but about teaching families to avoid assuming it.
Early childhood educators also noted that when caring for other people’s children, explaining each step of a diaper change is considered respectful and developmentally appropriate.
Carson later addressed the criticism, saying some responses had been hostile and misinformed. She emphasized that diaper changes are non-negotiable for health and safety. Her goal, she said, is to model healthy communication during vulnerable moments, helping children develop the skills to understand consent as they grow.