I want to leave my sex-mad 86-year-old husband… I find him repulsive. I can see the REAL problem, replies CAROLINE WEST-MEADS… you’re deluding yourself and here’s why

One woman, married for 26 years to a much older husband, confessed she feels trapped and unhappy. “We’re always walking on eggshells,” she admitted, describing his controlling behavior and refusal to seek medical help despite possible dementia. The advice? “Staying out of obligation can mean sacrificing your health. Leaving isn’t abandoning—it’s valuing your life.” Support from counselling and dementia services was strongly recommended.

Another reader felt invisible because her in-laws dismissed her part-time career. Though she retrained and works in a demanding role, they treat her job as unimportant compared to her husband’s. She often faces pressure to drive her mother-in-law to medical appointments. “Your work deserves respect,” came the response. The solution? Her husband must stand up for her, and outside services or taxis could help with transport.

Both letters remind us: caring for others should not erase your own worth. Do you think women too often put their own needs last?

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