Some people reach adulthood feeling left behind in one area of life, even when everything else seems stable. One young man shared that he has a job, friends, and a close family bond, yet has never had sex. Over time, embarrassment and self-doubt led him to stop dating altogether.

He explained that shyness and lack of experience made social situations harder, especially around more confident friends. As the years passed, his fear of disappointing a future partner grew. Eventually, he began to believe intimacy might never happen for him.

A conversation with his mother changed things. Knowing he was still a virgin, she asked if it bothered him. When he admitted it did, she surprised him by offering to pay for a sex worker as a birthday gift. Her intention was to help him gain experience and confidence.

The offer left him torn. Part of him wanted to move past this hurdle. Another part worried it would feel uncomfortable or wrong, especially with his mother involved. He wondered whether accepting would truly help or simply add new emotional weight.

The advice he received focused on boundaries and personal choice. While consensual sex work can be safe and valid, decisions about intimacy work best when made independently. Confidence tends to grow not from “getting it over with,” but from building autonomy, privacy, and self-trust.

Do you think confidence in intimacy comes more from experience itself, or from feeling in control of how that experience happens?