Many people are shocked to learn how common it is for straight men to cheat on their wives or girlfriends with other men. Columnist Jana Hocking recently explored the topic after noticing a flood of surprising confessions from her followers. What she uncovered was a hidden world of secrecy, curiosity, and emotional fallout.

Hocking shared that many straight-identifying men confessed to having secret encounters with male friends, coworkers, or strangers. Some admitted it casually, without guilt, while still maintaining relationships with women at home. One man, outwardly the picture of masculinity, even revealed he received oral sex from another man at a wedding. Stories like this pushed Hocking to dig deeper into why it happens.

She soon heard from the women who unknowingly lived alongside these secret double lives. Their pain wasn’t only about the physical act—it was the shock of discovering something completely hidden from them. Sophie, 29, learned the truth after finding a charge from a well-known gay bar on her boyfriend’s bank statement. When she later found explicit messages, he finally admitted he was experimenting, leaving her hurt by the deception more than anything else.

Laura, 35, faced her own heartbreak after finding a gay dating site open on her husband’s laptop. Although he denied acting on it, the discovery shook her confidence and sent her searching for answers through counseling. Her experience mirrored many others who felt blindsided by secrets they never expected.

Experts say these situations often stem from pressure on men to fit into strict, traditional roles. Some hide their curiosity or confusion out of fear, only for it to surface in risky or secretive ways. As one woman put it simply: “The betrayal wasn’t the sex—it was the lying.”