Columnist Jana Hocking explored why some men, who identify as straight, secretly engage with other men. Through social media interactions, she found many men in relationships with women had hidden same-s** experiences, often with colleagues, friends, or strangers.

Hocking shared stories like one of a “gym-obsessed, athletic, and macho” man who admitted to receiving oral s** from another man at a wedding without remorse, highlighting how common these encounters are.

For many women, the real pain came from deception, not the act itself. Sophie, 29, grew suspicious after finding a charge from a gay bar on her boyfriend’s statement, later uncovering explicit Snapchat messages. Laura, 35, discovered a gay dating site on her husband’s laptop, shaking her trust and self-worth.

A therapist explained that societal pressure forces men to suppress desires, leading to secrecy. As one woman put it, “The betrayal wasn’t the s**; it was the lying.” Hocking stresses the need for greater acceptance so people can live openly without fear.